The Pen Story

Back in the day when my present-wifey was just my kindred spirit/fiance, there was an incident involving a pen and Tiffany getting stabbed.

......Actually... that's pretty much it. Yeah: Tiff got stabbed with a pen in the hallway (Well... whatever it was that constituted a "hallway" in a school comprised totally of trailers) of our middle school in the 8th grade by an absent-minded, weapen-wielding idiot. But since this is my project, I wanted to create a narrative of the event in question so I went straight to the source, my wife... and promptly discovered why journalists have to twist some stories.

ME: ...I need you to tell me how you got the pen scar...

TIFF: I was going to Mr. Mike's class (our Earth, Space, and Science class). No one was with me. Mr. Mike totally didn't believe me until I was like, "Mr. Mike... I'm BLEEEDING!!!" and let me go to the office...there was no damn nurse and no damn Neosporin which was probably why it scarred...so I had to slap a band aid on that shit

ME: ...Worst. Storyteller. Ever.

When I pointed out that my wife had the narrative skills of a drunken sailor, she decided to rephrase her story,

TIFF:Once upon a time, in the chaotic land of Narammonsnia there was a damsel who was running late to class. She, however, was only mildly concerned and was walking at a reasonable speed. Upon turning a corner, she was confronted by a mad man. He was dashing through the narrow hallway at such a speed that the damsel could not move out of his path. The mad man struck the damsel, drawing blood!!!

And that is the Pen Story of the scar on Tiffany's left forearm...or at least one of the versions.